You know, there's an old country song called, "All the Girls Get Prettier By Closing Time" by Mickey Gilley.

Well, I have to admit going home with one of those ladies, whose soft place had my thingy convinced she was a sure-fire double for some centerfold model I saw in Hustler's. Of course, last call's dream turned into the next morning's nightmare. But you know what? She was one of the absolute best plays I've ever had! I mean there we were at her door, with me pressing against a really nice soft place, as she fumbled with the keys in the lock. She wiggled her plump, blue jean filling soft place into my crotch, and I felt like playing her right there on the steps. Once inside, she practically grabs me by the crotch and leads me directly to her bedroom where we begin to rip each other's clothes off. I threw her on the bed and just starting ramming my length into her. No small talk, no shallow flattery, just plain, get right down to it, spread your legs and drive your head into the headboard sex! I can't honestly remember how long we played, but we didn't come to until early the next afternoon when I found this smiling, Medusa-looking lil thang laying next to me.

She was still asleep when I left luckily, so I left my phone number but we never got together again. Oh well, paper bag and all, she was awesome!